normal???

I received an email today from someone asking me if things have gotten back to “normal” around here.  I was also told of a team and even a couple of medical professionals who have decided to postpone their upcoming trips to Haiti until things have a chance to “settle down”.  What exactly does that mean?

I don’t know what “normal” looks like anymore…  Haiti was never in good shape to begin with.  People here were hungry, they were homeless   People here were sick and they were desperately needing Jesus.  None of that has changed.  Is that the normal that they are talking about?

The beautiful people of this country need us.  They need YOU.  Please don’t be afraid to come… to pray… to get involved however possible.  Their needs are greater now than ever before.  We have the opportunity and an obligation to give, serve and love in whatever way God has asked us to.

The streets here are still filled with new faces.  That’s not going to change anytime soon.  They don’t have anywhere else to go… we need to meet them right where they are.  We need to pray with them, to treat their injuries and illnesses.  We need to feed them and we need to love them.  That IS our normal.

Part of me hopes that this doesn’t sound like an angry rant…  but the bigger part of me wants to just scream.  God is counting on us.  Please help us to reach these lost and broken people.  Do not let fear get in the way… fear is Satans greatest tool against us.  Do… Not… Let… Him…Win.

God is in control.  Our God today is the same God as yesterday and will be the same God tomorrow.  Our responsibility to the lost and broken people of  Haiti is still the same.  Our work is not done here…

Matthew 28:19-20  Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.  And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.

personal ministry update and needs

I just wanted to give you an update on what’s been happening here in Haiti since the earthquake and let you know about some opportunities to get involved as well.

I’m sure you can all imagine that the earthquake has changed this country in unbelievable ways. The devastation that you have seen on television is only the beginning. Yes, Port-au-Prince will need to be rebuilt. But the rebuilding of families, their health and their faith will take years. This is not a situation that will have a “quick fix”. NWHCM is about 90 miles North of PAP and we have been flooded with families and patients from that area. The northwest zone of Haiti that we are located in has received over 31,000 refugees. They are looking for a new beginning and they are looking for hope. God has placed us in a position to meet the physical and the spiritual needs of thousands of people that we would never have come in contact with.

While the stories that we are hearing and the injuries that we are seeing are heartbreaking, I am also filled with an excitement about the possibilities of reaching so many lost people. This is a time for change. We need to be ready and available to meet their needs… to have the answers ready… to be the hands, feet and FACE of Jesus.

My number one request, as always, is for prayer. Pray for these people, who are so heartbroken and scared. Pray for those who are searching, those who are angry. Pray about how you can get involved… about if you can come… about if you can give. Pray for this mission and all of us who work here. Pray for effective and personal ministry. Pray for wisdom and strength and healing. This has been an unbelievably difficult time for the staff here. We had some in PAP at the time of the earthquake and many who went to minister there immediately after. The fear and uncertainty of what we have all experienced is not something I even know how to put into words. We had over 70 “aftershocks” with around 50 of those being a 3.5 or higher. The fear for the Haitian people, who didn’t even understand what was happening has been far worse. There are still thousands of people who are afraid to sleep in their homes.

As far as a personal ministry update, we are continuing “full steam ahead”. Susan (my daughter) and RJ and I are expanding our prison ministry to include the big prison in Port-de-Paix. Doors were opened there for us as a direct result of the earthquake. The government in PAP had apparently been sending enough food to feed the prisoners there one small meal a day. Of course… the earthquake changed all that. The earthquake happened on January 12. It was a full two weeks later that we learned that the prisoners in Port-de-Paix had not had any food to eat. We were immediately able to send cases of food and medical supplies to them. Days later when we showed up to visit with the prisoners we were given the “royal treatment”. We were given a tour of the facilities, shown the food we had given and the kitchen where is was being prepared. We saw the two rooms that they use to treat the prisoners who are sick. The prison is extremely overcrowded… we led devotions and prayed with over 250 prisoners who were all crowded into 8 large cells. In most cases it didn’t seem as though it would even be possible for them to all lay down and sleep at the same time. There was one cell for all of the “sick” prisoners to share… their illnesses ranged from hernias to HIV to Tuberculosis.

A way for you to get involved in this ministry is of course through prayer. But we need resources as well. We would like to be able to put a Creole Bible into every prisoners hand. Both in Port-de-Paix and in the local jail here in St Louis du Nord that we visit several times a week. We need a supply of both the New Testament paperback Bibles we keep on hand, and the full version of the Bible that is much harder to get. The smaller Bibles we can get for as low as $1.25 each copy but the full size Bibles cost us about $8.00 each. Another thing that many of the prisoners have asked us for are the song books that are used in the churches here. They range from $8 – $10 each. Can you even imagine the sound of those men and women lifting up song of praise and worship in such a dark place? I am so excited to be able to try and put these books in their hands! Our plan is to visit and lead devotions at the big prison once a week and we will be taking a nurse from the mission each time to help out as well. I cannot wait to see how God works there!

A new addition to my outreach ministry goes hand in hand with our “meals on feet” program. I want to be able to buy fresh produce… fruits and vegetables along with rice, beans and pasta… at the market and deliver a weeks worth of food to a different family (or families!) every week. Not someone already in one of our programs, but someone that we might not ever come into contact with. The homes here are overflowing with people. They were too full BEFORE the earthquake and are now crowded with many displaced family members as well. What a gift to be able to surprise family after family with a little help in the name of Christ! It is also a great gift to be able to put some money into the hands of the many women selling the produce at market. We try to spread out what we buy around the market to bless as many families as possible. It has been great fun and is something that I am really looking forward to expanding.

A big personal need for my family is for an inverter and batteries for my home here in Haiti. We have been on very restricted generator hours to conserve fuel. The inverter and batteries will allow me to stretch the hours that I have power in my home, allowing me more flexibility in my work schedule as no power means no internet as well. This is something I am hoping to have in place by summer at the latest as I will be in for a three month stretch. This will also allow me to keep my house cooler and my refrigerator running. I am planning on bringing in my two smaller dogs with me and that will not be possible without longer AC hours. It is VERY hot here in Haiti in the summer months. I am hoping that someone has a contact that might be helpful in getting a good deal on what we will need. Initial pricing is looking like somewhere between $3000-$4000. Luckily I have only a tiny two room house! This is for sure not an amount of money that we have “extra” so am hoping for any and all suggestions on possibly getting set up cheaper than that. We are already struggling as a family to meet our monthly support requirements so would appreciate any help we can get.

I am planning on being in the states from Feb 21 – March 17 and again from May 2 – May 22. Please let me know if you are interested in scheduling something while I am there. I am hoping to set up as many presentations as possible as we are working hard on raising awareness about NWHCM and our short term missions trips as well as trying to secure the funds needed for my family to continue living in Haiti for the rest of 2010 and beyond. Our monthly commitment to the mission just including what we are required to pay to live here and for our health insurance is close to $1000/month. All travel expenses and all ministry expenses are on top of that totaling well over another $1000 per month. Who knew it was so expensive to be a missionary?

Thanks so much for your time, your prayers and your support. Please let me know if you would like more information on how to get involved or if you have any questions.

Proverbs 21:13 If a man shuts his ears to the cry of the poor, he too will cry out and not be answered.

Luke 4:18-19 The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me preach the good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.

full steam ahead

Our visit to the prison in Port de Paix this morning was amazing!  This has been something that we have been just waiting to be able to do and today was the day… it went better than we could have hoped for!

Up until now, our prison ministry has only involved the local jail here in Saint-Louis du Nord.  I have visited the jail regularly for years, sharing the Gospel, offering drinks and snacks and spending time in prayer with those who had been arrested.  We have always felt that it was the perfect time to be able to really talk to them about the choices they were making in their lives.  The jail here is usually filled with first time offenders… someone who has stolen something or owes money… maybe someone who has been in a fight.  The people are usually not held very long there.  They either get released after a few days or they are moved to the Port de Paix jail for a longer sentence.

Because of the quick turn over, we can visit the jail a couple of times a week and see different people each time.  I love it because it gives us the opportunity to reach so many.  It is a tiny little jail with just two cells, one for the men and one for the women.  There are sometimes only two or three prisoners and I have been there with as many as thirteen.  I would say on average we are talking to five prisoners at a time there.  It makes it easy to make connections with them, to hear their stories and to be able to really talk to them about Jesus.  We know that this can be a turning point for many of them.  This jail is only a tiny taste of the big prison… enough of a taste to set them straight if they choose to try to make that change.  We have had great success there and have had great fellowship with the guards there as well.

Today was stepping out of our comfort zone for sure even though we were excited about the new possibilities.  I had only seen the big prison from the outside.   I had no idea what to expect.  I wasn’t sure if we would be well received by either the guards there or by the prisoners.  We have heard horrible things about the conditions there and I was a little nervous… especially because Susan and RJ were with me… and Jim wasn’t.

God had it all worked out…  The guards were pleased to see us and show us around because NWHCM had just donated food and medicine for the prisoners.  They brought us to the medical director of the prison after talking to us in his office he brought us straight back to the prisoners.  He showed us each cell and then left us, telling us we could take all the time we wanted.  Lol… we were half thrilled and half terrified.

The area that we were in had one long corridor with eight cells.  There were over 250 prisoners crammed into them.  We started with the furthest one down as it was the one I was most excited about.  The women’s cell had only 10 prisoners.  I don’t know if I was more disappointed or more relieved that Linda was not one of them.  Our game plan was for Susan to read the devotion she had prepared, with RJ sharing next and then I would close us out in prayer.  It went well and I really felt drawn to those women.  All but one were mothers and when I spoke to them about their families and about my own children,  we instantly had a connection.. . a common bond.  I am really excited about getting to know these women… and finding out their stories.  Several of them had Bibles and I encouraged them to share God’s Word with each other.  I really had to tear myself away to go to the mens cells.

The men were absolutely crammed into these rooms… they had anywhere from 25 (the sick cell) up to 50 in each one.  There were no beds except for one bunkbed in each cell.  Some had mats or blankets to lay on, some had nothing.  I honestly don’t know if they would even be able to all lay down at once in the really crowded cells.  It was that tight.  There was a bucket in each cell to use as a toilet and the prisoners are only allowed out of their cells to shower.  Not a pretty sight.

The devotion that Susan prepared was perfect.  She spoke on James, chapter 1, sharing about the way God uses the trials and troubles in our lives to increase our faith and also about God’s love for us all.  Watching and listening to my own daughter speak to these men about rejoicing in our sufferings and the blessings that come from that was  breathtaking.  It was a proud mommy moment that I know I will never forget… and a moment in which I could sigh in relief because I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that she gets it.  I have never really questioned her faith but to have it confirmed in such a mighty way was awesome.

RJ and I both shared stories about how Paul was used during his time in prison and how God sometimes uses the storms in our lives to get our attention.  I encouraged the men to pray for each other and encourage each other in a way that only they can.  I told them that there is no way for me to really understand their daily struggles in that prison… but they do.  Several of them had Bibles and I asked them to share God’s Word with each other daily.  The men in one of the cells told us that they are doing that already… that they read from the Bible together every morning and evening.  It was really encouraging to hear.

For the most part everyone was amazingly open and receptive to what we had to say.  I think we were all surprised at the way they all really listened to what we were saying.  We had over 70 different people press notes into our hands asking for prayers, for Bibles or song books and for help.  Some simply wrote their names so we would pray for them.  Many of them were sick and all were uncomfortable and unhappy.  They all seemed grateful for our visit and our prayers.  We told them that our plan was to come every each week and that we would pray over those requests every day until we return.  We are planning on bringing in a notebook or prayer journal that they can write in each week for us so we can pray specifically for them.

The one thing that we were asked for the most was Bibles…  That is something that is always on my heart.  I believe that everyone should have the opportunity to read God’s Word.  I didn’t make any promises today but for sure am planning on trying to get more Bibles into their hands.  At least enough for them to be able to share with each other.  I know that they all can’t read… but the ones that can need to be able to have it available to share with those who can’t. I have some creole Bibles here and some more back in the states to bring in.  Certainly not  250, but enough to get started.

The other request surprised me… several of the men asked us to bring them song books from church.  They want to be able to sing hymns and praise songs to God!  I don’t know how I am going to find them or even how I am going to pay for them but I am determined to bring enough song books next week for each cell to have one.  I am told that they will cost me $8 -$10 (american dollars) each.  More than any of them would ever be able to spend on a book!  I am excited to try to find enough of them at the market and trust that God will figure out the money end of it for me.

A day of uncertainty ended with us being filled with hope and excitement.  We can’t wait to get back there next week and we are looking forward to seeing these men and women come to a better understanding of God’s purpose and His love for them.  I feel like lives will be changed…  that people will be saved… and will hopefully be a better example to each other and to their families.  Am I wearing my rose colored glasses again?  Maybe.  But it’s okay… God wears them too.

unanswered questions…

I feel like I am starting to understand a little bit of what God’s purpose might have been for allowing this earthquake… I am beginning to see the amazing opportunities that come along with the refugees making their way up to the Northwest.  The opportunities to share God with people who are desperately searching for answers and for hope.  The opportunities to tell children, possibly for the very first time, about Jesus and what He can do in their lives.  It’s exciting to think about the impact we could have on so many people… and the impact that THEY then can have on others…

But then the old questions come up… But why did so many need to die?  Why were so many left injured and in pain?  How could you take parents away from so many children and children away from so many parents?  It is absolutely heartbreaking.

It isn’t that I don’t trust in God’s plan… it’s that I don’t understand it.  I know that I need to just stop trying to figure it out… I tend to want to wrap everything up and tie it with a neat bow…  it’s just not going to happen this time.  Proverbs 3:5 is a verse that I know well  Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. His ways are not my ways, His plans are not my plans.  The last three weeks have brought me to my knees more than ever… begging for an understanding that is just not mine to have.

Another unanswered and nagging question (or two) has to do with Linda, the young mother who delivered her baby in a toilet.  The explanation I was given by the nurses the day the baby was brought in was completely different from the story I was then given by Linda when I visited her in the jail.  This mom, her beautiful baby boy and her two older children have been on my heart in a huge way.  I didn’t know what the truth was but knew that I needed to try to find out what happened.  To be sure that this baby wasn’t being taken away for no reason.  The mother in me just couldn’t believe that another woman could give birth to a child and leave him to die.  Again with wanting the beautiful bow and the happily ever after…

Early this morning I found out that her baby boy was no longer here at the mission, that he had been taken home by a couple who wants to adopt him.  This made me frantic to get to the bottom of Linda’s story.  Ivenor and I spoke to Sylveste, Wisly, Magdala and Jody throughout the day and were able to piece together what we think happened, both with Linda and the circumstances surrounding her leaving the baby, and with the legality of the adoption.

None of these are answers I wanted to hear.  Each answer brought five more questions and my mind is still processing it all.  The story that we got today was completely different from either of the versions we had already heard.  Some of the details that were nagging at my brain for not making sense are coming together in a way that is hard to understand.   My heart is just aching right now thinking about the whole situation.  There will be no happy ending.  Not for Linda at least.  I pray that the family her baby boy ends up with is loving and that they raise him to know Jesus.  No matter how he ended up where he is… he has a chance to live.  Thank God for that.

As for Linda… all I know for sure is this:  she needs the love of Jesus desperately.   I am going to visit her in the Port de Paix prison tomorrow and hope to finally get the real story of what  happened.  In order for repentance and forgiveness to happen, we must first get to the truth.  I pray for God to give me wisdom about what to say and how to lead her towards him.  I pray that I can offer her some encouragement and comfort as well.  She has a long road ahead of her.

One of the hardest things for me here is that I tend to see people and the world through rose colored glasses.  I look for the best in people and usually believe that everyone’s intentions are good.  I feel like we should give people the benefit of the doubt in most situations.

But I also know that I do this as a way of protecting my heart from the unpleasant things of this world.  The problem is that it doesn’t work.  I end up shocked and hurt when I find out someone I trusted has betrayed me or even just that some people aren’t being nice or fair just because…

I do tend to get my feelings hurt easily and often wish I could just learn to “toughen up”.   I have written about my tender heart many times and the pain that I feel far too often.  I’ve also voiced my feelings of gratitude that God DID give me a tender heart… a compassionate heart.  I pray that I know exactly what God is trying to show me, trying to teach me through these feelings.  That I am open and available to what He needs me to be.

I have a deep love for my God and a deep love for the people of Haiti.  I pray that God uses me in a mighty way,  just as I am.  I pray that I will be able to get through to Linda in a way that leads her directly to HIM.  I pray that healing can begin and that restoration will soon follow.  I pray that my heart is calmed and I can be filled with a peace about the entire situation.  Mostly I pray about unanswered questions… that if I cannot understand the WHY’s,  that I can take comfort in the fact that God already knows all the answers… and that I don’t need to.

exciting possibilities

I am a little overwhelmed by all of the excitement I am feeling about the future here in Haiti.  Today has been a day full of highs and lows… but is giving us a clear vision of what our focus needs to be and the direction that our ministry should be heading in.

Just for fun this morning Susan, RJ and I went to market with Ivenor and loaded up with all of the fresh produce we could carry.  We surprised a family that we know with a visit and the food.  It was wonderful to be able to bless them and bring a smile to their faces.  They are all living  in a tiny, one room house… it was already a tight squeeze for the family of five but is now completely overloaded with relatives from PAP as well.

As we met the displaced family members and heard the stories of the devastation they left behind, I was at a loss.  Not all of them made it out alive, and those who did get out left with only the clothes they were wearing.  Everything else is gone.  We had the opportunity to pray together and to offer encouragement but I found myself struggling for the right words.  I was very honest in telling them that I felt like my words weren’t enough… We did pray together and we thanked God for bringing them out of PAP safely,  we prayed for those still in PAP with no family to turn to.   I  have such respect for these women, doing the best they can with the cards they have been dealt.  I was encouraged by the fact that they are all believers and are still trusting in God’s perfect plan.

I decided to surprise another young mom with some groceries this afternoon as well.  This is a mom that I met on the meals on feet route.  She lives in the absolute poorest section of this town, right on the waters edge.   Last July I was down there delivering meals with a team when she came flying out of her house chasing her baby.  She picked the baby up by one arm and just started beating her as hard as she could while the baby screamed in pain.  We were all horrified.  I did the only thing I could think to do… I walked over to her and asked her to pray with me.

Not what she was expecting I’m sure…  As hard as it was at that moment, I knew that God wanted me to love this girl.  She put the baby down and I introduced myself.  I told her that I too was a mom and told her all about my children.  I talked about the struggles of motherhood and how I have respect for the moms here and the much greater struggles that they face on a daily basis.  That was it…  she allowed me to hold her hands and pray for her and her family.  I asked God to fill us both with the wisdom and patience needed to be better moms… to help us love our children more than we thought possible and to be the Godly women we are called to be.   Somehow, an unlikely friendship was born.

Now, don’t get me wrong…  I don’t believe that she was instantly transformed into a perfect mother or that she was ready to accept Christ on that day…  but the door was opened.  We greet each other every day now with a hug and kiss, we talk and pray and sometimes just smile and say n’a we’ demen… see you tomorrow.

Today was so much fun because it was a total surprise.  She had never asked me for anything before and I had never given her anything.  She invited me into her home and watching me unload the food, asked me how much money I had spent on her…  she acted like she couldn’t even believe I was just  giving her this food, with no strings attached.  It was so sweet to see the look on her face… she looked so young and happy.  It’s not a look I get to see on her face very often.

God used this situation to speak to me…   Her friends had all crowded into her little house to see what was going on.  One of the women came in and told me that she knew who I was.  She said that she was a friend of Linda’s… the woman I had been visiting in the jail after she gave birth to her baby boy in a toilet.  She said she knew that I was Linda’s friend too.  This chance meeting gave me a renewed desire to find out exactly what had happened with Linda and to see where things stood.  All I knew is that she was transferred to the big prison in Port de Paix.    Her baby boy is still here in the birthing center and her little girl is still in the baby orphanage.  I promised to talk to Magdala tomorrow and see what I could find out.

When I got back to the mission I found out that the Port de Paix prison had sent officers to ask for help.  It turns out that the government in Port au Prince had been sending enough food to the prison to feed the prisoners each one small meal a day.  Obviously the earthquake has changed everything here… the prisoners had not been fed since January 15th!   Wisly, our haitian campus manager, went to the prison to see what was happening for himself.  He came back and said that things there are bad.  That the prisoners are literally starving to death and that they need Jesus.  We are in the position to give them both.   Wisly sent cases of food over to the prison.  Not enough to feed them forever, but enough to get them started.

Many of you already know that the prison ministry is one that is greatly on my heart.  The plan for this year was for Jim, RJ, Susan and I to start making weekly visits to the Port de Paix prison in addition to our visits to the local jail.  Jim ended up not being able to come into Haiti with us this trip so we had put the prison visits on hold, focusing on  the local jail instead.   I feel like God is telling us that the time to act is NOW.  We are hoping to make a trip to the prison within the next few days… I am planning to visit Linda while we are there and Susan and RJ are excited to share one of the devotions with the prisoners that they had prepared for the local jail.  This is a door that God opened for a reason… we are ready to run through it!

Last night twelve pastors from the area came and visited Jody asking for help.  Their congregations are all overflowing with the new people that have come from PAP.  Jody agreed to give each of the pastors food to be able to start ministering to the people in their own churches.  What a gift to be able to share what we have in such a powerful way.  These people are searching for help and for answers… for them to be able to get help in the name of God is awesome!  I pray that it keeps them coming back and searching for a real relationship with God through all of this.

Jody shared with the team here tonight that it is so very important for teams to continue to come in… our work is just beginning.  It is so EXCITING to think about all the new people we have the opportunity to reach now because of this sad situation.  Earlier, I shared this statement that Beth Moore had made… “sometimes God allows earthquakes in our lives to loose chains.”  We have the opportunity to LOOSE THOSE CHAINS!  The chains that voodoo has had over so many of these people!  We have the opportunity to change lives for Jesus!

I don’t know why it took Jody spelling it out tonight for me to really get it.  She mentioned that normally we are doing VBS’s for the same kids, over and over again.  Usually our big issue is trying to come up with something they haven’t already seen or heard yet.  These refugees from Port au Prince haven’t heard ANY of it.  They are a clean slate just WAITING for someone to share the love of Christ with them.  To tell them the Good News.  Their parents are waiting… their older brothers and sisters are waiting…  Jody also talked about the need for teen conventions and street evangelism… for hut to huts.

The time has come…. there is no more important a time to come than NOW.  We have the opportunity to reach the LOST…  to save souls.  I am so excited just thinking about what’s to come… I cannot wait to see it play out.

As much fun as I had today giving out food to those two families…. I only provided temporary food.  Nourishment for this world.  We have the opportunity to give these unreached people the SPIRITUAL FOOD they need…  nourishment for ETERNITY.  How could you not want to be a part of that?

Find a way to get involved… come, pray, give… whatever you feel God is telling you to do.  Just do SOMETHING.  Don’t miss out on this great opportunity to save lives.  God is counting on us.

God’s promises

Psalm 85:6-7 reads Will you not revive us again, that your people may rejoice in you?  Show us your unfailing love, O Lord, and grant us your salvation.

It goes on to talk about God’s promise of peace, and about love, faithfulness and righteousness.

Continuing with Psalm 85:12-13  The Lord will indeed give what is good, and our lands will yield it’s harvest.  Righteousness goes before him and prepares the way for his steps.

This seems to me to be a clear message of restoration.  Maybe it’s just that that’s the message I am looking for… for God’s promise that this WILL get better.  That Haiti will be restored and the broken hearted will be healed.  That this nation will indeed turn to God in this time of trouble, asking for forgiveness and receiving salvation.  Is that wrong to search for?  To hope for?  I believe that’s what we are called to do as Christians… to hope.  To pray and to ask, on their behalf,  for the grace and mercy we know our God is capable of.

The very next Chapter, Psalm 86…

Psalm 86:5-7  You are forgiving and good, O Lord, abounding in love to all who call on you.  Hear my prayer, O Lord;  listen to my cry for mercy.  In the day of my trouble I will call to you and you will answer me.

Psalm 86:9  All the nations you have made will come and worship before you, O Lord;  they will bring glory to your name.

How amazing that when something tragic, like this earthquake, happens… when there is no relief in sight…  all we can DO is acknowledge the greatness of God and wait for better days ahead.   At the same time… how incredibly sad is it that it TAKES something tragic to bring us to our knees in the first place?

In one of her Bible studies, Beth Moore said that “sometimes God allows earthquakes in our lives to loose chains”.  I keep coming back to that.  I pray that the chains have come free.  That the people of Haiti are throwing themselves before God… putting their hope and trust only in Him.

I believe in His word and in His promises.  I cannot WAIT to see how God will use this disaster to bring Glory to His name.

Amazing Grace

Just a quick note about today…  Susan, RJ and I went down to do a devotion with the patients in recovery tonight.  Carmen was already down there talking to them and asked that we all join hands and sing.  She picked the song Amazing Grace and asked the Haitians to sing it creole while we sang it in english with the nurses.

All of us “blancs” stood in that circle and sang but the Haitians were quiet.  When we finished singing we asked the interpreters to lead the song in creole for the group.  It was funny because none of them could remember the words… that is, until one of the patients started to sing.  It was beautiful.  One by one, the interpreters, patients and their families all joined in.  It was a sweet sound, a very touching moment, one that I am extremely grateful to have witnessed.

I am finally feeling better today… back down to a “normal” headache instead of the pounding I have had for the last several days.   I got most of my overloaded email caught up and got out to do meals on feet.  I am really looking  forward to the jail tomorrow…  Thank you all for the prayers for healing!

I thank God for the amazing grace He has shown me, and continues to show me in my life.

a comforting message

Susan and I have been fighting off a weird headache for the last week or so.  It comes and goes along with some weakness and shakiness that doesn’t seem to make any sense.  The last few days have been especially hard as my headache has been getting worse.  I’m not really worried about it but am for sure ready for it to be over.  This morning we both ended up leaving church early as neither one if us felt well enough to make it all the way through… very disappointing as I was REALLY looking forward to hearing Mike’s message.

Before I left church I was drawn to Psalm 103.  It was just what I needed to hear… a comforting message from God.  I came back to our little house and shared it with Susan.  I pray that we are both feeling stronger soon.  It is frustrating to feel like we are wasting precious time when we want to be up doing things.  I thank God for giving us this message of encouragement and love today…

Psalm 103

Praise the Lord, O my soul;  all my inmost being, praise his holy name.

Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits – who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases. who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

The Lord works righteousness and justice for all the oppressed.

He made known his ways to Moses, his deeds to the people of Israel:

The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.

He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever;  he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.

For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him;  as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him;  for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust.

As for man, his days are like grass, he flourishes like a flower of the field;  the wind blows over it and it is gone, and its place remembers it no more.

But from everlasting to everlasting the Lord’s love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children’s children – with those who keep his covenant and remember to obey his precepts.

The Lord has established his throne in heaven, and his kingdom rules over all.

Praise the Lord, you his angels, you mighty ones who do his bidding, who obey his word.

Praise the Lord, all his heavenly hosts, you his servants who do his will.

Praise the Lord, all his works everywhere in his dominion.

Praise the Lord, O my soul.

a whole new day

What a difference a day can make!  I just got back from delivering meals on feet.  Today was the complete opposite of what we experienced yesterday.  I can only believe that it was because of your countless prayers.  Thank you.

Where yesterday we were made to feel uncomfortable, yelled at and ridiculed… today there were smiling faces all around.  Things were peaceful and quiet to the point that we were beginning to wonder where everyone was.  We certainly had our fair share of children tagging along but besides that there seemed to be a lot less people downtown today.  We were able to take our time, visiting with people and hopefully making new friends along the way.

Susan and RJ went to the jail this morning to do their devotions with the prisoners.  The plan was for me to go later this afternoon so I could visit with Linda alone.  While they said that their time there went well and they were encouraged that the young man they were ministering to had a Bible with him (again!!!) I was sad to hear that Linda was not there.  I haven’t found out yet what has happened.  I pray that she was released but fear that she may have been moved to a bigger jail.  Magdala was practicing with the choir when I returned so I haven’t had a chance to investigate…

Half of the medical team that was here left today and another 10 or so are coming in tonight.  Things have not been exactly what the surgery teams are used too.  Please pray for them to have a peace about the schedule that GOD has put into place here… that they will know that He has just the right people coming through those gates to be ministered to.  I am so grateful for their servants hearts and their willingness to come.  I pray that God encourages them and blesses them mightily for their efforts.

As I was watching RJ playing soccer with some of the boys in the courtyard, I was overwhelmed with gratitude.   I am blessed beyond belief to be in this place.  I sometimes get so wrapped up in busyness, or missing my family, or the helplessness that we all feel here… that I forget how lucky I really am.  I am surrounded by people who love God, who love this beautiful country and want to do their best to be Christ like servants.  I thank God once again for choosing to use me in such a wonderful way.  I thank Him for giving my family a heart for this mission as well.  How AMAZING to be serving side by side with my daughter in this way!  I know that these are memories we will cherish forever.

Mesi Jezi!

so many new faces

More than anything today, the new faces we saw are what  I am still thinking about.  Not just the new faces downtown… but here at the mission too.

We added a new guy to the granmoun feeding program this week.  His name is Michelle, he is in his late twenties and is blind and has some serious tremors.  He was brought in by his older brother after their parents passed away.  Not knowing where else he would fit into a program I was asked to add him to meals on feet.  We did bring him his meal for the first couple of days but I ended up encouraging his brother to bring him to the mission each afternoon for the granmoun feeding program here on campus.  It seemed to be a better fit for him and seemed like a good idea to get him out of the house as well.  Michelle made it down to the mission yesterday with a friend to get his meal and seemed to enjoy the singing and time of prayer.  That is one new face that I was happy to see.

Courtney brought me another woman this afternoon.  We had discussed it yesterday and decided that the granmoun feeding was a good fit for her as well.  She is definitely in the right age range for a granmoun but she didn’t seem to think that she fit in.  It was funny to watch her today.  She comes to the mission for rehab and pain management.  She has cancer and it has unfortunately moved into her bones.  According to Courtney, this woman has only 3 to 6 months to live.  The deal is that she can come in at 3:30 for her therapy and meds but needs to come over and eat a good meal as well.  I had to practically drag her back there and when we got to the dining area she refused to sit with the other granmoun.  She just stood to the side waiting.  I hope that she was ministered to through the singing and prayers.  She eventually asked for a smaller portion, took a few bites (while standing up!) and left.  Hers is a new face I hope to see again.

The rest of the new faces today left me feeling a mixture sadness and irritation.  These were faces we saw on our route we walk everyday for meals on feet.  As I have said in previous blogs, there have been many new people showing up here since the earthquake.  The problem seems to be that most of these displaced people are just NOT happy about being here.  Either they are heartbroken and just look at us with a look of confused sadness on their faces or they are just plain mad at the situation.  They are angry at being in a place that they apparently don’t feel they fit in.  We can tell by the way they are dressed and how they work so hard at acting like they don’t belong here.  They left PAP… a city… and are now here in this little mountain village.  Their homes have been destroyed, they have probably lost loved ones and friends.  They are stuck sharing  houses that are overcrowded and not what they are used to.

I don’t blame them for being unhappy… but it doesn’t make it alright for them to be nasty.  We have had our fair share of unkind comments, looks and laughter over the last two weeks.  Today seemed to just be the worst.  I understand creole much better than I can speak it so can certainly tell when someone is making nasty comments.  We actually had two young girls following us on our route today swearing at us in English.  It takes a lot of patience and tongue biting to keep a smile on you face while being verbally attacked.  I am trying my hardest to be understanding.

Susan was actually being really funny and was able to answer back in a silly way that they couldn’t respond to without a smile.  She kept right on smiling and talking like nothing was wrong.  She was definitely showing the face of Jesus even through her frustration.  I just hope that I did too.

It’s so hard to feel like we are outsiders here.  We have been so comfortable here for so long… this is our home.  These new faces look at us with distrust, with curiosity, with surprise…  and what do they see?  I hope they see our love, our compassion, our willingness to serve.  I hope they see a friend, someone who wants to help, someone they can trust.  I hope they see the face of Jesus.