Praying…

Please join me in praying today…

Angeline (one of the cooks at the mission) just lost her husband Seloney.  He was one of the construction workers at the mission.  My heart breaks for her and her children.  Please pray for peace for that family.

We also lost one of the granmoun.  He had been sick for quite a while so we can rejoice in the fact that he is now pain free and with Jesus.  I do ask for prayers for the rest of the granmoun and their nurses though…  I’m sure that this is a difficult time for them all.

Baby Thomas is still holding on.  Please pray that he remain pain free until God calls him home.

feeling the Haiti love

We just finished up a VERY busy week with the TCC Haiti team.  Jim, Susan ,RJ and I are working alongside the 33 people going to Haiti in January from Tomoka to raise support.  I am totally exhausted but had such a great time hanging out with the team and getting to talk to so many people about Haiti.

We were outside of  Walmart all day on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday collecting donations of supplies and money for the trip.  This is always an interesting experience.  You learn quickly to defend your faith and your choice to serve in Haiti when you are in a public location like that.   Walmart is one of my favorite fundraisers, and we do it often…  it’s a great way to get the community involved.  It’s also an open invitation for people to give us their opinions about what we are doing.  I absolutely LOVE that but I do realize that it’s hard for some of the team members to deal with the negativity.

Friday night the team ran a concession stand at a free movie night offered here in town.  It was an absolute blast!  The team all had a great time hanging out together, working together and of course singing all the words to Grease.  We earned money for the trip and had a lot of fun doing it.  With such a big team it’s not easy to get everyone together very often and we had a good chunk of us there that night.

Saturday and Sunday were both CRAZY busy!  We were lucky enough to get a booth at the Halifax Arts Festival again selling baked goods.  We met so many interested people!  Of course there are always a few that don’t mind telling you why you shouldn’t be wasting your time in Haiti but for each one there had to be ten that LOVED what we were doing and wanted to hear all about it.  You all know how much I love to talk about Haiti!  The team also ran the TCC thrift store and the church Cafe this weekend.

Throw in two long nights of baking and of course singing 5 services and you have got one very tired girl.  Tired and ridiculously happy.

The team worked so well together!  They really pulled together and made it all work when it seemed like it couldn’t possibly all get done.  They did it cheerfully and I think all had a good time while raising much needed money for their accounts.

I was very proud of my family for working so hard this week too…  I loved listening to them explain to people what exactly we do in Haiti and why.  I loved seeing the love of God just oozing out of them.  Explaining to the people questioning our actions that the Bible calls us into the whole world… not just our little city or even our country.  Their passion for what we are doing was so evident.

It’s an unbelievable experience to be able to share your love, faith and passion for a cause with so many strangers.  People were very generous this week  and for the most part were extremely encouraging.

I think we were ALL feeling the Haiti love!

Worship

The thing I miss the most when in Haiti is the worship at TCC.  I sing on the praise team so each week I get to take part in 5 services and be part of some of the most amazing worship.  The music, the lights, the passion… it all comes together for an amazing worship experience.

I was SO excited to be singing this weekend.  So excited to hear my pastors message.  So excited to be fed.  So what happened?

I sat in my beautiful church, in my very comfy chair, with doors, windows and air conditioning….  sang beautiful songs, listened to great teaching….

and missed Haiti.

I missed that little church, crowded with bodies, ceiling fans offering little relief from the heat.  I missed the singing, clapping, laughing and crying that make up the worship there.  The bass guitar blaring through the (way too big!) speakers.  The sermon that I could barely understand.

As we sat in our very pretty church today, in our very pretty clothes holding our very pretty Bibles… I couldn’t help but compare it to my church experience just last week.   How funny that I felt like the outsider today at  my own church…  I loved the worship, loved being surrounded by friends and hearing the Word of God in such a bold way.

I have to admit that I felt like we were missing something….  No one yelling Amen, Amen, Amen!  or Mesi Jezi!  No sweaty children sleeping on our laps.

I’m not sure what I am supposed to be learning here….  Why do I yearn for one style of worship here and another there?  Am I just supposed to feel unsettled all of the time?  Does God want me to always want more?    Because I do.  I want all of Him that I can possibly get.  I want to sing passionately to Him.  I want to learn more about Him.  I want to know more about Him.  I want to lead others to Him…

I just want to worship Him….  with all that I am.

I’m hungry for Him and want to be filled up.  Fill me up Lord.  Please.

home… at least for now

Back in Florida for only 2 days so far and we have been crazy busy!  Sort of thrown right back into things… ready or not!

Some of that is good though… I was able to sing last night at church and was SO in need of that.  If there is one thing I miss almost as much as my family while in Haiti, it’s my church.  I love the routine, the worship, the Word taught in exactly the way I need to hear it…

I have to admit that it really did seem a little weird though to be sitting in that great big church like I didn’t just leave Haiti the day before.  It is so hard to make my “two lives” fit seamlessly.  It’s always a bit of a bumpy adjustment coming back…  It’s hard to not feel like I am two different people sometimes.  The one I really am and the one people expect me to be.    It’s like I cover “missionary Melonnie”  up with make-up and hairspray and a great big smile while pretending to not be a little sick about all the wealth and waste around me.  I know I write about this often…  I’m guessing that God keeps it on my heart to remind me to not forget what’s important.

One memory that kept popping into my mind last night was of our last Sunday in Haiti…  Jim and I were walking to the soccer field that afternoon.  The streets are dirty and it is not a smooth walk by any stretch of the imagination.  We were surrounded by children trying to hold our hands… or clothes… or anything they could to try to be close to us.  We couldn’t help but laugh.   We look back at our lives together and try to figure out exactly how we got there…  It is ironic to think that we went from trying to have everything (our wordly view of success) not too long ago to now being happy to have nothing.  To live in a place where all that matters is how God wants to use us that day… or that moment.  We were so incredibly happy on that road… in our new home.

Something fun!  We finally got wedding pictures last night!  It’s only been just over a month but seemed like forever!  I had so much fun looking through them all last night and posting them.  I have an amazing beautiful family… inside and out.  I am once again in awe of how perfect Marisa is for Lee and for our family as well.  Thank you Jesus for answered prayers!

I hope that we make the most of the next two months.  It seems like way too long to be away from the mission… but I know that God has a plan for our time here.  I know that the “loose ends” in our lives will be wrapped up… that God is holding us in His arms.  I promise to try to make the most out of every minute.

a month in review…

What a month this has been!  I apologize for not keeping up with my blog this month but have had so much to process…  It’s hard to put things into words when it all seems so confusing.   Forgive me if this is long.

This is it… my last full day in Haiti until January 1st.  As I try to figure out where to start… I am flooded with emotion.  This month has been a growing time for us, a prayerful time and a wonderful  time.  I thank God for every minute of it.

We came in with many things planned, many things to pray about, decisions to be made…  I feel that we have been productive in our ministries here in Haiti as well as making some exciting and some tough decisions that needed to be made.  God revealed His plans to us slowly over the last weeks and we are excited to see how it all plays out.

One big change (and huge relief for me!) is that Jim agreed to head up the prison ministry.  We both feel that more doors will be open to him than would ever be to me.  He connects with the men in jail in a way that I just can’t.  As we were leaving the ASSL soccer game yesterday a man stopped Jim and said ” You visited me, I remember you”.  The funny thing is that Jim never even said a word.  He was there talking to the guards (who also asked for Bibles!) while I spoke to the prisoners and prayed with them.  Jim shook their hands and gave them food and juice before we headed out…. and that small connection was what stuck.

Our plans for January are to start visiting the big prison in Port au Paix each week as well as the local jail here in St. Louis du Nord.  One thing we are hoping to get started is to have a collection of mens dress shoes and dress shirts available for the young men at the local jail to wear to court when necessary.  Catching them while they are still able to turn from the trouble they are getting into is a pressure that we feel greatly.   This local jail is filled with young men at a cross road in their life… we hope to be able to lead them towards the right path.  Susan and RJ will be a big part of that ministry as well and I can’t wait to see it all come together!

We were able to come in with suitcases full of Creole Bibles this time and had a blast giving them out to people.  It was an absolute JOY to be able to offer them to the prisoners without worrying if we even had some to give.   We shared them with many of the workers here on the mission that didn’t have them, brought some out to people that we have met out on the streets…  There is no greater feeling than being able to share God’s Word with people who so badly need to hear it.  We had many in the jail ask God to come into their lives and keep them close to Him and I know that being able to stay in the Word of God will strengthen them when they need it the most.   We are hoping to be able to buy another supply of Bibles as well as some Creole “Salvation Bibles”  that are an inexpensive ($.35/each!) way to share…  it is made up of the book of John and the book of Romans.

We came to Haiti greatly concerned about fundraising for our personal support.  We have had a few setbacks in this area and were feeling overwhelmed at the amount of money it takes to actually live in Haiti and be missionaries full time.  Almost immediately upon arriving we were hit with the new missionary charges and budgets.  Lol…  We went from a projected need of $22,000/year to a little over $36,000/year for our families travel, living expenses in Haiti and ministry expenses in an instant.  Wow!   Time to kick up the fundraising efforts a notch or two!

Here’s the kicker….  It’s ok.  Now, I’m not going to say that I didn’t have my moment (or five) of sheer panic.  But it really is ok.  There is NO WAY POSSIBLE for us to do this on our own.  It’s ok.  God knows that.  God knows our needs, He knows our hearts, He know that we need to learn to trust Him to take care of things.  It’s ok.  One baby step at a time.  It’s ok.  How absolutely amazing that when this DOES happen…  when we ARE able to make each monthly payment and pay for each plane ticket… that we will know it was only by the grace of God.  I’m ok with that.  I’m ok with being able to share that with other people struggling with trusting God to meet their needs…. what a testimony this will be!  It’s ok.

In Haiti there is a saying (and a song) Tout Bagay Deja Byen…..  Everything’s already alright.  And it is.

Thank you JESUS for showing me again and again.   Thank you God for giving me a family that is part of a team.   Thank you for molding us and shaping us into what YOU need us to be, even when it hurts.   Tout bagay deja byen.

Hey God… you got this?

It is finally time to pack the bags and head back to Haiti!

This has been a busy time… Lee’s wedding,  people moving in, people moving away, getting a new Tomoka team started and ready, all of the other small details that come with leaving…

I am SO looking forward to getting back to my Haiti home.  This will be Jim’s first experience with a medical team, his first extended trip and his first time going in without a Tomoka team.  I am excited about his first real opportunity to experience living in Haiti rather than just visiting.

We will be bringing in a TON of creole Bibles that were generously donated for the prison ministry… that alone is exciting!  I am glad to be going back to my job but am even more excited about getting back to my heart.  I can’t wait to see the beautiful faces of the granmoun in the feeding program or the guards at the jail.  The kids inside and outside the gates…  all of it.

The past few weeks in Florida have been crazy, wonderful, sad, frustrating and amazing all at the same time.  Lol.  We have had so much going on!

There are so many details that I am turning over to God…  This will be the first time Jim and I will both be gone for an extended amount of time.  That’s a little scary.  Our children are all still at home.  Lee and his wife (thank goodness!) decided to move in with us for a while to get a good savings built up and this is a HUGE help as far as Katie is concerned.  They will be able to get her to school and back, help keep things organized, make sure she is ok, etc.  Susan is still home too but is busy planning her own internship in Haiti starting in January.

As silly as this sounds… I am worried about my dogs too!  We have four and one of them is dealing with some nerve and/or disc problems and has been in a lot of pain.  No fun for him or for us as we need to keep him medicated and away from the other dogs.  Hey God…  can you take care of them too?

Do I feel like we have everything “covered”?  Absolutely.  Does that mean I won’t worry… I wish.  I know that God has his hands wrapped around this entire family.  I know that He is going to be with us in Haiti, that He will be with our family in Florida… yes… even the dogs!  I know that He will comfort us, help us make some difficult decisions and give us guidance.  We are leaving with a lot of unanswered questions and I am hoping that God will use this time to work on my heart… to give me wisdom.

Quite the laundry list of expectations…  good thing my God is so big!

Is it October yet?

Lol.  I just want to be back in Haiti!

Having Jody and Jose visit this weekend with the kids was great!  It really made me homesick for Haiti though…

The next month should fly by with the wedding plans but right now it seems like October will never get here.

I spent most of today working on my support letters and my 2010 budget for our Haiti expenses, etc.  Wow!  Talk about overwhelming!  It is AWESOME that God has placed us in this position and I am excited to see how it all plays out.

I realized as I was crunching numbers today and figuring out travel expenses for a family of five that there is NO WAY we can do it on our own.  That leaves only God.  Pretty cool.  I had the realization that it does me NO GOOD to even worry about it.  He’s got it all under control.  Love it!

Knowing that Susan will be there for a year is so comforting to me.  I am helping her figure out her own financial ministry needs for her time there… I am such a proud mommy!  She blows me away!  She doesn’t actually move there till January so the month of October will be just me and Jim in our little house…

Which leads me back to… Is it October yet?

Simple Man…

Who knew how hard this would be?  The fact that my son is getting married in less than a month is blowing me away.  I am getting wrapped up in details….  I’m guessing that’s a good thing because it keeps me from focusing on the fact that my baby boy is getting married!

I thought I was holding myself together pretty well until I had to sit down and pick a song for the mother – son dance.  Wow… way to torture the already VERY emotional mom!

I sat at my dining table for hours, listening to recommended songs and crying my eyes out.  The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face was a huge favorite but I couldn’t even listen to it without crying loudly… I’m thinking dancing would certainly be out of the question!  Lol.  I finally went into Lee’s room and asked him for help.

I was giving up… it was just too hard.  Lee asked what I had narrowed it down to and stopped me when I got to Simple Man by Lynyrd Skynyrd.   He thought it was perfect!  I think it’s pretty perfect too but wasn’t sure that a Lynyrd Skynyrd song was appropriate for a wedding, lol.

I think I’ve listened to it enough that I’ve gotten all (or most) of my crying out of my system..  it really does seem perfect.  It suits us.  One decision down… 100 more to go.

Mama told me when I was young,

Come sit beside me, my only son

And listen closely to what I say

And if you do this it’ll help you some sunny day

Oh, take your time, don’t live too fast

Troubles will come and they will pass

Go find a woman you’ll find love

And don’t forget son there is someone up above

Everyone who knows me, knows how very much my children mean to me.  It’s the hardest part of  being in Haiti is that I don’t get to see their faces or hear about their day…  It’s so hard for me to wrap my brain around the fact that my children are so grown up!  It seems like just yesterday I was rocking them to sleep in my arms…

Love you Lee…  you’ll be my baby boy forever.

His hands and feet

I’m pretty sure I’ve never blogged twice in one day before…. I usually can’t remember to blog once a week!  Lol.

I am missing Haiti something fierce tonight.  I’ve only been home for a few days and am having a great time but can’t shake this feeling of just plain missing Haiti bad.

I’m singing this weekend and blogged about the set list being a difficult (meaning emotional) set for me.  Mighty to Save is now a “Haiti song” for me and that’s what we closed our service with.  That wasn’t the kicker tonight though…

The TCC Haiti team has been back for a couple of weeks now and we were asked to share our Haiti experiences with the rest of the worship team during our Bible study time tonight.  There are four of us on this weekend, all lined up in a row.  So…  not only is this my first weekend back in church (always emotional for me), but we had the opportunity to share about Haiti.  On top of that, Kevin led us into communion with stories of how Haiti has changed him and his family and encouraging people not  to waste time with “worthless activity” but to give your time to God.  Right.  So now I’m really crying.

Right after communion we sing Lifesong.  WOW.  I should say that I tried to sing Lifesong.  The words hit me so powerfully tonight.

Empty hands held high.  Such small sacrifice.  If not joined with my life, I sing in vain tonight.  May the words I say, and the things I do, make my lifesong sing, bring a smile to you. Let my lifesong sing to you.  I wanna sign your name at the end of this day knowing that my heart was true.  Let my lifesong sing to you.  Lord I give my life.  A living sacrifice.  To reach a world in need.  To be your hands and feet…

Lord God,  I really DO give my life.  USE me to reach the lost and the needy.  LET me be your hands and feet.  I pray that my lifesong is what you desire from me God.   I give you all of me…  Thank you God for reminding me tonight just how much I NEED to do what I am doing… how much I love Haiti and how very much I love you.

birthdays… Melonnie style

This is the second year in a row that I have celebrated my birthday with a new tattoo!  This is one that I have wanted for a really long time but hubby likes to be sure I am REALLY sure.  Lol… each one is supposed to be my last… This new one makes seven for me.  A good number to stop?  I guess we’ll see what next year brings….

Proverbs 21:13  If a man shuts his ear to the cry of the poor, He too will also cry out and not be answered